Commitment

Funny word, that. Commitment. In it's simplest definition, it is "a pledge to do." As of Friday, I have committed to doing Ironman Texas in May of 2011. It is right in our hometown of the last year, and hopefully many more, The Woodlands. This is six months to the day after Ironman Arizona. So far, I have committed to a training program that is much more aggressive than last year, and plan to continue this program through November. I am doing more, sooner, and more consistently. With any luck, and a lot of practice, it will translate to a finishing time with much longer than 17 seconds to spare.

Wish me luck ;)

A Runner's Soul

I may not have the stereotypical runner's body (yet!), but as I returned from my time out on the road today, I realized that deep down, my soul runs. When I run, I love to be outside, to feel my legs move, to be ever-so-grateful that I am able to do this.

When I started out on May 1st, 2005, my ONLY goal was to learn to enjoy running, a task I'd hated as long as I could remember. It's nice to know I'm here.

The Dead of Night

Whether at home, or at work, there are times, usually around 2 or 3 in the morning, that my anxiety kicks in. Now, it could be anything from "is everything as good as it seems?" to specificities of "what if I don't finish the half ironman in time in 4 weeks?". The "thought tornado" which has also been termed the "thoughtvalanche" by an understanding colleague, just takes off.

So no big thoughts today, just little ones, passing through...

Let Someone Else Drive

When I drive, the bus goes over cliffs, into pits, and just gets, well, stuck. In the past week or so, which is the end of the difficulty I spoke of yesterday, I have tried to take control of things I have no business trying to control. My habit of clinging to control has unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, I'll choose the latter - bodes for a better tomorrow), brought me down today with a sickening thud.

There is very little in my world I can control. I am putting practices in place to prevent further damage by putting my two cents in where they don't belong. By practices, I mean literally. These are things I will do every day, every hour, to keep my purpose aligned with where I belong. The way I've lived for many years, with me driving the bus (but recently was shown another way) is a life I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

May god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Amen.

Migraines

Yep, I've got 'em. My last particularly bad one was a little over 2 years ago. I can remember the nasty buggers because they usually occur either during stress or shortly after the stressful event "breaks". Thank goodness, it looks like this one is at the end of a shift (and I'm not talking work shift!). Today I woke up with a doozy. Nausea, jackhammer in my head, but at least no vertigo! I got that for the first time with a cold a couple weeks ago. Interesting, that. Anyway, the headache is almost gone, which means I can get back on the trainer. Short plan today, only 30 minutes. My coach would have me do more, but that's another story. Inadequacy does nothing for my life or productivity.

In order to better plan things for my current triathlon season, after discussion with my husband, who is definitely trizophrenic, I am coming up with my goals for triathlon in general. These stem from my original goals (well, there was only one) for running I developed on May 1st, 2005:

1. Have fun (that was the only rule in 2005, to learn to enjoy running)
2. Well, I'm not sure I can think of another goal so this might be a moot point. I guess I could say to complete the races I've signed up for, most urgently, the Galveston 70.3. Ok, so that leads me to...
3.  Complete IMAZ 10 happier than I finished IMFL 09 (I sense a theme). Now, the interesting thing, is that in order to finish happier, there are a few things that have to happen. Most of these conditions are intertwined.
 - leave more cushion at the end than 17 seconds!!!!!
 - be lighter and leaner
 - be more comfortable on my bike for long periods of time
 - not vomit my guts up 5-6 days before the race (we'll have address that later I suppose)
 - be stronger

What am I doing now to accomplish those things? I've revamped my eating and strength training, for one. My body is feeling much better (migraine notwithstanding) with a higher protein load and 3 day a week lifting schedule. I'm likin' it. And, last, but not least, what I'm doing today...

Getting on the trainer for a short workout today, even with the migraine.

Wonderful Friends

Since we moved to Texas, I have made some wonderful friends. It has been a relatively short time of 8 months, and already we have forged a solid bond.

I can only hope to be half the friend they are to me. I have friends who will drag me by my ponytail down the finisher's chute if the need arises. I have friends who don't care about labels, and understand that it's what happens next is what matters. I have friends who laugh, cry, cheer, boo and just be with me. All in all, I have fantastic friends. For them, I am eternally grateful.

Along those lines, I cannot forget to mention my husband. He's with me through thick and thin (sometimes literally!) and works to make things better every day. He teaches me how to go with the flow to become better, when my past mode de emploi was more of a salmon-like determination. If you compare our progress, I have to admit, my upstream battle has gotten me a little ahead, but at a price. I was thinking that something different may be in order and have been using the Easy Does It method. The last week has been comparatively fabulous.

Last year's Superbowl...

Tempus Fugit

It has been almost a month already, since I wrote last. I'm thinking that if it became more of a habit...oh, much like other things...more on that later.

Since I wrote, I turned 36, ran my third Disney marathon, hurt my foot, registered for a few triathlons and have yet to see any "gains" on my fat loss efforts. Which brings me to my current musings. I am frustrated with the fact that I was able to train for an Ironman and gain fat. I cannot fathom how that is possible. Oh, that pesky physics thing? Okay, so there is that. Overfuel = overfat. Hmmm, rather simple equation.


Except right now I can't run. Well, I can, but I limp like there's no tomorrow because my foot is quite painful. Running the Disney Marathon with a wind chill (IN FLORIDA) of 16 degrees Farenheit was not all that much fun. It felt like running on blocks of ice with nerve endings. So swim and bike it is. I have started to weight train two or three times a week, which is good. I'm excited to see gains with that.


Random ramblings, I know. I'm feeling a bit down about things, so, I'm going to do a little retail therapy at www.splish.com  - they have a sale going on, you know ;)